I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. Quick Hits so early in the week?! I know, right? Shaking things up, people!

•In Amy Winehouse news: It’s the drugs, stupid.

•It was shark week for Ryan Seacrest, who was bitten by one. Seriously.

•When did Comic-Con get so big? What used to be a geeks-in-costume-on-parade semi-notable event is now THE place to be. What’s happening?

•It looks like The Two Coreys is getting the boot. How bad does a reality show have to be for the American public — the same public that allows Wife Swap, You Wanna Bet and The Singing Office to continue — to depopularize it to the point of cancellation?

•July was list month at IFC.com. Read all the lists here. And then maybe make your own, you list-loving Gen Xers. (That IS a Gen X thing, right?)

•A Brooklyn company has come up with a safe sex license.

•Did a dead monster wash ashore in Montauk? Rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.

•Chris Brown’s current hit “Forever” is actually just an extended jingle that was written for Wrigley’s Doublemint gum. That totally makes sense.

•Geek alert: Eureka premieres tonight at 6 p.m. local time on the Sc-Fi channel. The rest of us will be at the Vampire Weekend show.

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Yessiree…here they are:

•Tomorrow is national donut day. Malasadas totally count.

•Musicians sound off on what really matters to them. Tegan (of Tegan and Sara) says “rules and organization.” Wow. We could never be friends.

•Early U2 reissues of War, Boy and October will be full of extra goodies. They’re due to drop July 22.

•Could it be? A He-Man movie that doesn’t suck? This guy thinks so.

•Here’s a trailer for Gonzo, the new Hunter Thompson documentary, which is narrated by Johnny Depp.

•Kung Fu Panda is getting mostly positive reviews. I heart Jack.

•An anti-energy drink is hitting the market. Instead of waking you up. It makes you. Very. Sleepy. And. Relaxed. I call that gin and tonic.

•The Telegraph posted this photo essay of weird signs from around the world. Those foreigners! Always good for a laugh.

•A new confession website lets people air their neuroses. I wonder if it’s appropriate for me to post with other people’s neuroses.

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Confession No. 5 (see confessions three and four here): If I had to pick a favorite food, I would pick hot dogs.

There it is. And all I can think about now that it’s out in the open is what my critics are going to say the next time I review a restaurant. It’ll probably go something like this: “What does that girl know about food!? She picked hot dogs as her favorite food! A real foodie would pick seared scallops on a bed of wilted organic greens with Champagne butter sauce.”

Back to hot dogs. I love them, and so it was surprising, even to me, that I had never been to Puka Dog in Waikiki (even Anthony Bourdain beat me to it). I finally went yesterday and my thoughts are these: If you’re a frank purist, stay away; if you go, there are a few things you should know.

1. The eatery specializes in fruit relishes and fruit-infused mustards — don’t overdo it on the fruity combinations! Too many fruit flavors tend to overpower the polish sausage and you’re left with a tropical mix of flavors that is better suited to cocktails. My suggestion: Choose either a relish or a fruity mustard, don’t choose both.

2. If you must have your banana relish and liliko’i mustard too, go with a spicier mayo (you can choose from a menu of mild, spicey, hot or “hot hot” garlic-flavored mayos) to help balance the sweetness.

3. If you find the super-fruity combos are too tempting to resist, you can always order extra relishes on the side and add them as you eat.

So. Now that I know the best way to enjoy a Puka Dog, I can honestly say that I really, really like them. Here are a few pics along with descriptions of how the Puka Dog works.

First, a hole is made in the bun using this machine. The spikes pierce the bread and toast it at the same time, creating a crunchy casing for the sausage.

Fruit relishes, fruit-infused mustards and garlic-flavored mayo are squirted into the hole. The sausage is then slipped into its bun, surrounded by the various sauces.

The finished product is a perfectly encased hot dog, condiments included.

It’s easy to eat, and the toasty bread adds a nice touch.

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Good morning! Let’s get right to it, shall we? Here are today’s hits:

•Arcade Fire is scoring Richard Kelly’s new movie. And no, it isn’t a sequel to Donny Darko. (But there is a sequel, it just doesn’t have anything to do with Kelly.)

•Scrubs isn’t over after all. It’s moving to ABC for its final season and the series finale was just a fantasy. Or something like that.

•Willie Nelson guest stars in Snoop Dogg’s new music video. Now who’s the media whore? Oops. Just kidding! I love you, Willie!

•It was (officially) announced yesterday that Jimmy Fallon will take Conan O’Brien’s place next year on Late Night when O’Brien moves to L.A. to take Jay Leno’s place on The Tonight Show.

•Watch the new X-Files: I Want to Believe trailer here. Say what you will about the X-Files, but don’t say anything bad about David Duchovny. He’s perfect.

•A live-action Fraggle Rock film is in the works. Um, yay! Seriously: yay!

•Drew Barrymore was in a minor hit-and-run but wouldn’t let the offender get away.

•Death Cab for Cutie’s new album, “Narrow Steps,” dropped today.

•It’s official: David Archuleta’s stage dad has been banned from American Idol rehearsals. Is that what that kid’s dead-behind-the-eyes look means? That he’s being controlled by papa Archuleta? No surprises there, I guess.

•And in BIG news: The Bachelor picked Shayne. Oh come now, you all were DYING to know that.

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Yesterday I was invited to watch the Hawaii premiere of American Teen, a documentary that follows high-school seniors in Warsaw, Indiana through their last nine months of school.The doc, which won a directing award at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, is like the serious, real-life version of Napoleon Dynamite. It’s set in a tiny Midwestern town that’s mostly white and mostly conservative. It’s the kind of place where the high-school’s star basketball player is a celebrity and prom is a big deal.The story follows a cluster of teens — the band geek, the emo artist, the popular girls and the jocks — as they come to terms with the hand that life has dealt them. Existing in that gray space between youth and adulthood, the kids confront their issues with a combination of naivete and that almost-discovered wisdom that comes with growing up and recognizing that you’re starting to see the world through adult eyes.

The film, which is directed by Nanette Burstein (On the Ropes, The Kid Stays in the Picture), doesn’t raise the angsty teen genre bar, but it is an interesting glimpse into the lives of regular white middle-American kids without exploiting them. The film’s statements are subtle, but they’re there. They’re in the popular girl’s use of the word “fag” to jokingly get back at a rival, they’re in a mother’s declaration that her daughter isn’t special, they’re in a father’s anger that his son missed the three-point shot, they’re in a mother’s emotionless and dry-eyed retelling of her daughter’s recent suicide.

The film was screened as part of the Hawaii International Film Festival’s Spring Showcase. It only screened once, but maybe it’ll make a comeback for the main fest in the fall.

Here’s an interview with director, courtesy of the Sundance Channel:

[youtube MP9NGR7dnoY]